managing – The Heart of the Middle

BLINDSIDED

The definition of “blindside” is to hit unexpectedly from or as if from the (blind) side; to surprise unpleasantly. In middle management, one of the most frustrating and anger evoking actions a colleague can take is to blindside another colleague. When this unpleasant surprise is directed toward one of your employees, the instinctive reaction is emotional and protective. I have found that the most challenging part of dealing with a blindside is knowing that the very first action I want to take is the very last thing that I should do, which is to react emotionally, protectively, personally.

WORDS, ACTIONS, RESULTS

I started my career in 1998 at Hormel Foods Corporation. At that time, I listened to a lot of people. I took instructions from managers and colleagues, listened to advice and tried to understand industry terminology along the way. There were a lot of words and acronyms to absorb.

FAILURE IS A BUMP IN THE ROAD, NEVER THE END OF THE ROAD

At the completion of my senior year of college, my father was asked by my sorority to describe his daughter in a “tribute” letter for my graduation, my dad wrote the following:

“No does not mean no to Melanie, it is an opportunity for negotiation.”

SHE BELIEVED IN ME

The most amazing teacher I ever had retired this week after 40 years in education. Her name is Deb Waddell, she reads this blog, so this may catch her a little by surprise. Deb was my 5th grade science teacher at Saint Paul Academy in St. Paul, MN. In my second attempt at 5th grade, I was truly a defeated soul. I had little confidence and even fewer friends. I had not found my love for anything yet and I would often cry in my room at night trying to figure out how I would get through the next day.

BE SCARED AND DO IT ANYWAY

I’ve always been a silent warrior, because otherwise I felt exposed. I’d rather show a courageous and admirable front rather than openly express my inner truth. Perhaps a mechanism for protection, but maybe more a shell for safety. The countless therapeutic walks with my girlfriends speaking openly about my struggles in my new leadership role encouraged me to tune in more to understanding what, how and why.

Just Be a Mom

Here is to the moms. The expecting moms, the new moms, the first-time moms, the experienced moms, the corporate moms, the struggling moms, the exhausted moms, the multi-tasking moms…. All of these “moms” describe me at some point in my life.

MEET HER IN THE MIDDLE

Four weeks before my first son was born in 2004, I was promoted to a Regional Managers position; I began reporting to a man that had little patience for the idea that I was going to have my first child in a few weeks.