THROUGH MY EYES

“May this stillness stay, and quiet the noise in my head so I may hear the voice in my heart.” -butterflies rising

For weeks and weeks, I would listen to my friend list her struggles at work.  I would hold her as she sobbed over her perceived failures and inability to excel in her new role.  We would rehash her most recent meeting and she would beat herself up over an answer she did not have or a slide that was missed.  The way she described her performance at work was a constant beating on her own self esteem.  She would spend 1% of every day celebrating her success and 99% of every day treating herself like crap.  She would explain her failures to me and ask how she should proceed; what she could do to fix the situation she had gotten herself into.  Every day felt to her like she was standing on the edge of a cliff and with one strong wind gust, she would be blown over the edge into a freefall that she could never recover from.  The voices in her head said, “You are not good enough, you are not smart enough, you are not capable, you cannot do this.” …. she nearly gave up, nearly convinced herself that those voices were speaking the truth.  The truth was that all along those voices in her head were telling bold faced lies.

This past week my friend received the highest performance rating available at her company, the highest rating she has ever received in her current position, the most amazing acknowledgement that not only is she smart enough and capable, she is a god damn queen!  Her reaction of shock when she received the review was not surprising to me, she has never seen herself like I see her.

If only you could see yourself through my eyes, if only you could see the beautiful colors that I see.  If only you could hear your brilliance through my ears, if only you could love yourself the way that I love you.  A butterfly does not know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how beautiful it is.  Likewise, you don’t know how beautiful and amazing you are, but I can clearly see you are special.

My friends story is more common than not in this crazy world we call life.  I have written many blogs about the challenges women face with the voices in our heads. (See SEARCHING FROM WITHIN and THIS PLAYING FIELD IS NOT EVEN) The “I have sold them a bill of goods” voice, the “I am not enough” voice.  There are so many strategies that can be used to work to change these voices in our heads, so many step-by-step processes that we can use to prove our voices wrong.  However, this week I would prefer that we not waste any time battling our own thoughts but instead we all just go straight to a source that we trust.

Reach out to a trusted friend, colleague and family member.  Ask them one simple question, “How do you see me?”; allow yourself to take it all in, absorb the reflection of your beautiful colors.  Let the beauty of how you have impacted others caress your soul.  Feel the positive recognition wash away all of your negative thoughts.  Dust off your wings as you listen to those that mentor you and those that care for you and love you; take in their words, let your internal butterfly take flight once again.