DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING

“If you get tired learn to rest, not to quit.” – Banksy

In June of 2004, I had given birth to my first son just 8 weeks prior.  Six weeks after having him I was forced to return to work in a new role as a Regional Manager; we were young broke parents with no additional paid maternity leave left.  The first couple of weeks back to work were a complete blur between night feedings, conference calls, nanny drop offs, bottle cleanings; not to mention the pain and discomfort I was still experiencing after an incredibly long and difficult delivery.  The world seemed to be running around me as I stood in a dazed state going through the motions with little idea of when it would all start to get better. 

As the days blurred into nights and my emotional health began to deteriorate, the daze began to turn dark.  The thoughts in my head became increasingly sad, the joy I should have been feeling when I held my new son no longer existed.  I was becoming numb, almost zombie like.  I would cry every evening and usually a few times a day.  All those years ago, post-partum depression was something that was not really discussed, not totally understood and sometimes difficult to diagnose.

At my 10-week post-partum appointment my female doctor was thankfully quickly aware of my condition.  The exhaustion and helplessness written all over my face. After a brief discussion on the medical means she would prescribe to assist with my condition, we moved on to the pure overwhelming feeling I felt every moment of every day.  Never knowing what to do next, just looking around me hoping it would all go away.  She hugged me as the tears flowed down my face and fell off my jaw line.  As she pulled back to look at me, she said “Just do the next right thing”.

The advice though simple was something I could work with.  I began to use it as my mantra as I faced every day.  Standing in my kitchen holding my son looking at piles of laundry, a sink of dishes, emails flooding into my inbox, bottles stacked to clean, breasts that needed to be pumped…. I would say quietly under my breath “Melanie, just do the next right thing”; and then the next and the next and the next.

Once I survived the first year with a newborn and began to master my new job and the working mom thing.  I did not have to use the mantra as often as before but I found myself coming back to it as the years went on when I started a new position or I faced a new challenge.  On days that I was overwhelmed with the mountain of challenges ahead, I would tell myself to just do the next right thing.  That overwhelming mountain soon became a mole hill and the process always worked.

I find when we are thrown into a complicated mess of a situation at work, some people prefer to just throw up their hands and refuse to get into the weeds.  They are unable to break it all down and resolve the mess so instead they live with it and just ignore it all together.  I on the other hand would prefer to get into the weeds so that I can break down the mess and figure out how to clean it up for future interactions.  It is often a manager’s job to do just that.  Ignoring the mess only makes it more complicated for the future and implications for the business are never good. 

Next time you are overwhelmed, ask yourself what is the next right thing to do?  Write it down, then after that what is the next thing and the next thing.  Break it down, whiteboard it out.  Soon you will see a path forward to a solution that once felt like it was filled with road blocks and sink holes.  Challenge your teams to do the same, whether to resolve a problem or to generate new business and energize their opportunity pipeline.  Ask them to continue to challenge themselves with “What is the next right thing to do?”.

Nineteen years later my little man is little no more.  He will be heading to college in September.  He is choosing what school he would like to attend and the thought that he will be leaving this house and heading off on his own is just as hard to face as those first few months after I gave birth to him.  The day we drop him off at college, those tears will most certainly flow again and as I stand next to our car, and I watch him walk into his future, I will feel like a part of me has left my body.  I will stand in a daze like state and whisper to him under my breath as he leaves my site… “Just do the next right thing my amazing young man.”