SHE BELIEVED IN ME

“It only takes a spark to get a fire going.” Kurt Kaiser 1969

The most amazing teacher I ever had retired this week after 40 years in education.  Her name is Deb Waddell, she reads this blog, so this may catch her a little by surprise.  Deb was my 5^th grade science teacher at Saint Paul Academy in St. Paul, MN.  In my second attempt at 5^th grade, I was truly a defeated soul.  I had little confidence and even fewer friends.  I had not found my love for anything yet and I would often cry in my room at night trying to figure out how I would get through the next day.

Deb (Mrs. Miller to me at the time) changed me.  She began with the little things.  She would let me arrange the seating chart in her classroom so that I felt safe with the kids at my lab table.  She ran the afterschool program and even though I would go home on the bus, she would let me pick up graham crackers and a milk carton on my way out of school.  Still to this day, I love the combination of graham crackers and milk.  It is the taste of safety, peace, and smiles.  Mrs. Miller then reached out to my parents and started taking me to special lunches on the weekends to really fun places like the Rainforest Café. 

As time went by, Mrs. Miller became my biggest and loudest supporter.  She took me on fun adventures and filled the void of friends in my life.  Although older than me, she had (and still has) a young soul.  In the years to come, she would attend my vocal performances and musicals.  I would join the same sorority she belonged to in college.  Her daughter Alexa was born premature when I was a Sophomore in college, I remember the scary days and many phone calls that followed until we both knew she was going to be okay.  When I graduated from college, Deb flew out to surprise me at my college graduation from Minnesota to Pennsylvania.

Of all the gifts that Deb gave me, the one that changed my life was the gift of her belief in me.  It took one determined, hard headed, passionate and loving fifth grade science teacher to convince me that I was something special.  She was unrelenting.  On the day I graduated college, she hugged me hard in my cap and gown and simply said, “I knew you would do it!”.

Being in a management position often requires what Mrs. Miller did for me.  I have had a few truly defeated souls join my team and also some very young newly out of college individuals that just need a confidence boost.  Whatever the need of the individual may be, the very first thing they benefit from is knowing that I believe in them.  Once employees know that there is someone in their corner, someone fighting for them and believing in them, the spark is lit. 

Managing in the Middle

• An employee that feels defeated can easily be motivated once again with a quick pep talk.  Expressing your belief in their abilities and confidence in them can reverse their fall into a depressing black hole.
• For young, new talent just starting their career.  Send an email noting something positive the employee accomplished.  Follow with a lunch or dinner to connect on a personal level.  Give them an assignment to manage on their own that will build their confidence in their abilities.  Recognize the accomplishment when the assignment is complete.
• Celebrate your employees wins and successes.  Share their progress with colleagues and superiors to keep the fire going within them.