IT IS ALL IN THE DELIVERY

“If you are not also in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” Brene Brown

A good friend recently told me a story she heard in one of her leadership coaching sessions.  The man leading the session had gone to dinner the previous evening with his family.  His teenage daughter was in a horrible mood.  When he inquired on what she was upset about, she reported that her soccer coach had called her out of practice and critiqued her playing.  She felt like she was failing and was so upset by the feedback.  The wife at the table instantly went into defense mode, promising her daughter that she was going to contact the coach and get this resolved since obviously he was being a “real jerk”.  The father in this conversation could not keep a straight face as he witnessed this back and forth.  Once the daughter and mother finished, the wife inquired “what are you smiling about”?  He stated simply, you are both upset because the coach was coaching.

We will never know how the coach delivered his message to the young woman; but it was very obvious the result of the delivery was probably not as effective as it could have been.

In middle management, delivery can be everything and when overseeing a large number of employees that have limited work experience, a delivery method is NEVER one size fits all.  Every individual requires a unique delivery approach in order to get the best out of them.

I had an older male individual that reported to me many years ago. He was transferred to me in a reorg and the previous manager stated “good luck with him” as we finalized the performance reviews for the previous year. 

In an effort to get to know each sales managers business, I requested a general business overview; however, a week later he came back with almost nothing to review.  Instead of losing my patience with him, I carefully questioned where his road blocks were and what he was struggling with.  It turned out that this individual felt overwhelmed when being asked for a wide breadth of general information.  He was not able to focus on the pieces that needed to be shared.

On the next request, I sent over a bullet point list of the information I was looking for to be added to a power point template.  He quickly turned the report back over to me with all the relevant and supporting information needed the very next day.  For years to follow, he was a significant contributor to the success of our team.  My delivery to him consistently remained focused, contained and bullet pointed.

Managing In the Middle:

• There is no one size fits all when it comes to management.  Each individual will require a different approach and delivery if you want to get the best out of them.
• Speak with employees on the type of communication they prefer, emails, phone, pre-scheduled “touch base” meetings.
• When you are not certain an employee understands your directive, ask them to recap next steps back to you either via phone or email to ensure you are both “on the same page”.
• A managers attempt to provide feedback and coaching can easily be perceived as criticism and harsh critique if delivered in a way that the employee is unable to receive it.