“By showing us who she was and what she loved, she taught us that real leaders know who they are and bring every bit of themselves to whomever they lead.” Abby Wambach
Middle managers get the pleasure and sometimes the struggle of working with a revolving door of employees that will come and go too quickly and sometimes not fast enough. Add in acquisitions and mergers and that revolving door can bring in all kinds of individuals in large groups with steep learning curves on both sides.
There have been many times in my career when a merger of business groups has occurred and I have instantly become the new manager for a group of people that have barely even known I existed within the organization. Usually the younger or same age individuals are easy to engage with and they quickly get on board with the way I work. I have found it slightly more challenging with woman that are older than me and even more so with men that are older than me. I do believe if I was a man that none of these challenges or resistance would be a thing, but for some reason when a women is put into a leadership position; resistance is a common reaction.
At one point, our organization merged two significant and separate divisions into one. The result was a number of new sales managers rolling up under my leadership. One of those was a single mom and grandmother who had been with the company for a few years. My initial conversation with her was cordial but after a few attempts to connect I could sense the resistance to my suggestions and my general leadership experience as a whole. I needed to find a way to connect with her on a more personal level to gain her trust in me and in my ability to lead her successfully. I planned a trip to work with her in her home office, when she expressed some concern about being in her home, I reserved a hotel room with a separate working office area and we set up shop there for a couple of days. I shadowed her to witness her day to day struggles first hand, I made note of her expertise with the internal systems and began to make a list of ways that I could remove road blocks for her, get her access to other systems that she could utilize to be more productive and less frustrated.
After a full day of shadowing, I took her out for a nice dinner. During this time, she shared with me that her husband had passed away from complications of a transplant when her two children were very young. My mom was a 12 year liver transplant survivor at this time, this shared connection was an instant sense of common understanding and pulled at both of our heartstrings. Once we found this shared sense of community, I also understood her “Why”. She was a proud, determined mother and now grandmother who single handedly survived the loss of her husband and father to her young children. Her determination and hard work allowed her to successfully support and raise responsible contributing members of society. This woman was proud and now incredibly relatable to me.
I flew home with sense of connection and common foundation upon which we could build from. I quickly went to work to solve her every day frustrations and remove those road blocks that were impeding her success. Once those road blocks were removed, she became an engaged loyal employee. She will take on any challenge and relentlessly pursue solutions with the same determination that she has pursued life.
In 2006 a similar merger occurred at Hormel when I was named National Sales Manager for the Specialty Products Division. At 31, I became a manager that was younger than 75% of my employees, significantly younger, and when it came to years of experience I also had far fewer years under my belt. The challenges were similar to those that I faced years later and I navigated them with a similar strategy, albeit not as smoothly or as quickly as I did years later. Once I was finally able to connect with my team members and earn their respect, a woman that retired a couple of years later gave me a call. On that call, she expressed something that has always stuck with me as a guiding principle for a good middle manager, she stated; “I enjoyed working for you because you proved to me that you would never ask me to do something that you were not willing to do yourself.” I had successfully demonstrated to her that if she was in the line of fire, I would stand in front of her to protect her from the threat.
Managing in the Middle:
- Work with employees to identify road blocks. Then find a way to remove the road block.
- When an employee has to endure a difficult conversation, offer to join them or coach them through the challenging interaction ahead of them.
- On a personal level, determine their “why”. Why are they working? There is always a “why” that we can all find common ground with. Care enough to find that connection.
** Personal stories shared with approval**
The Heart of the Middle 